Sola my
friend is facing so much in her marriage right now. She said her husband
smokes, drinks and womanizes. I shook my head the day she confessed to me. She said
it appears there is even a woman in their compound he is sleeping with despite
the fact that he is hardly around. I asked her if she didn’t know he did all of
that, she said he pretended to her throughout their courting days.
I remember our pastor talking to her and
telling her to pause the marriage plans ; just give a little more time, my
friend was so much in a hurry she wouldn’t listen. He said he wanted them to
together watch if he was a believer and also his character. Sola went on with
the marriage.
‘Aja to ba ma
sonu kii gbo feere olode’. A Yoruba adage’ a dog that would get lost would not
hear the hunter’s whistle'
Many people
do not know how critical the choice of a life partner can be. It can determine
how happy or sad you will be throughout life which can in turn translate to how long you live or how early you can die.
Someone who is not happy is likely to sink into depression and somewhere along
the line when the pressure is too much they give up, give up the ghost. The
spirit of a man is able to sustain him in sickness but if that spirit is low
there is nothing to sustain.
A wrong
partner can make or mar our lives.
I have seen
women cry every day because their husbands did not show them love. Some because
of verbal assaults in the home, husbands cheating, what they got was not what
they planned. Some have even died due to depression. I will not over-flog the
matter
So what
should a person look out for before choosing a life partner?
BE SURE OF HIS OR HER SPIRITUAL STATUS
This is of course dependent on your status as
well. If you are born again, marrying an unbeliever is contradicting the word
of God and of course that is disobedience. Be ready to dance to the music when
it starts playing. You may spend the first 7 or 10yrs of your marriage together
praying that he changes and behaves well rather than praying for other more
progressive matters in your marriage. Total waste of spiritual energy. An unbeliever should marry another unbeliever. believe me they will most likely have a sweet marriage because
they understand each other. abi what do you say?
CHECK YOUR VALUES
Do you share
the same / similar values? I mean do you believe in the same things? Do you
think it’s okay to tell someone you are in Apapa while you’re in Ikeja? Do you
believe in openness, trust? Family time? Family above work? Hardwork? A man
should always be the one providing? A woman should not work but stay at home?
The man is the head of the home and his decisions always final?
I look
forward to your comments and questions.
To be continued
love from moi
ibitayo
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